The number one choice when heading out for Mexican food? Fajitas. Veggie fajitas are best (fucking duh) with chicken, grilled shrimp, or steak coming in a close second. Why are they so fucking great? Because this shit is not assembled, meaning you can choose to skip the extra carbs like rice and beans AND even just nom on the meat and veggies solo, sans tortillas. Skip the sour cream and use all your salsa for an even healthier meal. We’ll even let you put guac on this.
We’ve discussed the wonders of ceviche before, and if you can find it on the 10-page menu at your local Mexican hangout, order that shit stat. it’s literally just fish marinated in citrus with some veggies, so why WOULDNT you order it. It’s like Mexican sushi.
3. Lettuce Tacos
You’ve has been doing it for years on your burgers (or you should be), so apply the lettuce wrap to your Mexican outing. Additionally, order them without cheese or sour cream. Up the ante, instead, on hot sauce and salsa which are much lower in calories and could boost your metabolism least temporarily.
4. Street-Style Tacos
What do we mean when we say “street style”? Not that it’s full of Molly or is going to break out into a freestyle rap. Street-style tacos usually have a protein, grilled veggies, and salsa on one or two soft corn tortillas. That means the tortilla isn’t fried, you don’t have to deal with cheese or sour cream, and its overall healthier. If it comes on two corn tortillas, use one and cut some more calories. One or two of these street-style bad boys should be more than enough for your Mexican feast. Don’t lie, you know you always order three tacos and get full after two bites into your first one.
If you honestly need dessert, you fatass, opt for flan aka your grandmother’s favorite gum-able food. It sounds disgusting when we describe it that way, so we might have saved you the calories outright. But if you do decide this dessert is for you, flan runs about 225 calories for a half cup and its literally just custard with caramel. Worth it, or you could always just order another drink and get your dessert calories that way.
If you’re going to dip, guacamole is a good option (plus we knew you were never going to pass on the guac anyway). It isn’t void of calories quite the oppositeBUT it has a lot of good fats and minerals that’ll help offset that hangover later. Be even healthier by swapping out chip dippers for cut up veggies. The restaurant staff will probably look at you strangely and pretend to not understand you when you ask for veggies instead of tortilla chips, though, so realistically you might just have to take that L and eat the chips.
7. Vegetarian Burritos
If for some reason you need a burrito, opt for lean protein with minimal carbs. In other words, try to order a bean burrito, no rice, extra grilled veggies, no sour cream, lots of salsa. If it sounds like it’s not worth it at that point, you are kinda right don’t say we didn’t warn you. But this sad vegetarian burrito is veggie and protein heavy, which will keep you full and less likely to black out later when you’re celebrating Mexicos independence or whatever.
Not really a dish specific to Mexico (S), but this is essential before you head out to El Burrito Fantastico. Chugging water like your life depends on it (because it kinda does) will offset a lot of the salt present in all of your favorite Mexican foods. Plus, it’ll fill you up so you’re less likely to inhale several baskets of chips at the table, you pig.
9. Grilled Fish Tacos
Ask for any creamy sauce on the side, and grilled fish tacos are a stellar choice for your Mexican celebration. They will be lower calories than most any of the meat dishes; there’s usually no cheese involved, and there’s a nice bit of protein to act as a barrier for all that alcohol.
10. Black Beans
It’s a side option you honestly don’t need, but if you do, opt for these over refried. Why? Do you really have to ask why beans that have been fried zero times are better for you than beans that are fried not once, but TWICE? Okay. Refried beans are refried in lard, i.e. literal fat. Let that sink in(to your arteries). Pinto beans are a decent choice, too; just stay away from the lard option. SAY NO TO LARD.
So don’t drown yourself in grande margaritas and waves of queso. Celebrate Cinco de Mayo responsibly, with delicious, lower calorie foods.